I've been trying to convince myself to start blogging again for the past couple of months.
I'm not sure what exactly made me stop, but it's been so hard to start up again.
I feel like writing is such a necessary part of my life; an escape for my mind to wonder on. Lately I have been so "in my head" if you will. So many thoughts, questions, feelings and such.
Why is it so hard for me to express what I am trying to feel?
As a note to others:
If you are trying to date me, don't.
This whole fresh out of a relationship thing is taking a weird toll on me and my life. I thought that since the breakup was my idea that things would be ok, that I had disconnected myself enough to realize that I was better off without. However the result has been that I really just miss being in a relationship, being in love, having butterflies from kissing that one person who I love more than anything.
I crave security, love, attention and passion.
It just doesn't be something that I can actually have right now.
To those who read this thinking, "I could provide her with that.." Maybe you can, maybe you can't, but i don't want to end up hurting your feelings in the end because I don't come around. Or worse (for me) getting attached to you, only to find out that you deem it not worth the work that goes into loving me.
I really hope i come out of this funk soon.
I just want to have fun, be happy, have awesome experiences and memories that i can take with me through the rest of my life.
Is that too much to ask for?