08 November 2010

Horoscope Compatibility?

Newly single and dating again.. I find myself looking to the stars for answers.

I have been reading my horoscope lately and I have found it to be right on point. My only real questions has to deal with compatibility charts.

Do they work and can they be used as insight to a relationship?

Here is the work up for a Gemini Woman and an Aquarious Man (ex. me and my ex Carlos):

Love Match: Gemini Woman Dating Aquarius Man

Intellectual sparks fly with this love match! The mental attraction is obvious from the first date. The Gemini woman will go weak in the knees over her Aquarius mans visionary and progressive ideas. The Aquarius man will adore his Gemini woman’s twinkle and youthful exuberance in learning something new every day.
Sexually, the Aquarius man gets the meaning of what his Gemini woman’s indecisiveness. She’s not sure what she wants or how she wants it so he just gives her his own unique love formula – and it works!
They’ll delight as they talk in detail about what they’re experiencing during sex and this couple will certainly be the great inventors in the bedroom!

 All of this is true....

Now when I actually read in-depth analysis between Gemini and Aquarius, I find that the write up still rings true to our relationship. I almost feel that having read all of these posts before getting into a relationship, or maybe just checking in, could have lead to one of two things.

1.) our relationship would have been stronger and we could have worked through the kinks before we got to them

2.) I would have seen what was coming before it hit and broke my heart.

Have you ever felt this way before? Have you have relied on the stars to tell you what is right and wrong for your sign?

As I step into the dating world I find myself turning to the start for guidance. After I meet someone I read all about their sign and compatibility to my crazy Gemini ways.

I do not use this information to judge them, but I do try to use it as a way to get to know the person or as a way to better understand them.

Does that seem weird?

I am curious to know what you think.

03 November 2010

turtle meet your shell

I've been trying to convince myself to start blogging again for the past couple of months.

I'm not sure what exactly made me stop, but it's been so hard to start up again.

I feel like writing is such a necessary part of my life; an escape for my mind to wonder on. Lately I have been so "in my head" if you will. So many thoughts, questions, feelings and such.

Why is it so hard for me to express what I am trying to feel?

As a note to others:

If you are trying to date me, don't.

This whole fresh out of a relationship thing is taking a weird toll on me and my life. I thought that since the breakup was my idea that things would be ok, that I had disconnected myself enough to realize that I was better off without. However the result has been that I really just miss being in a relationship, being in love, having butterflies from kissing that one person who I love more than anything.

I crave security, love, attention and passion.

It just doesn't be something that I can actually have right now.

To those who read this thinking, "I could provide her with that.." Maybe you can, maybe you can't, but i don't want to end up hurting your feelings in the end because I don't come around. Or worse (for me) getting attached to you, only to find out that you deem it not worth the work that goes into loving me.

*le sigh*

I really hope i come out of this funk soon.

I just want to have fun, be happy, have awesome experiences and memories that i can take with me through the rest of my life.

Is that too much to ask for?

13 September 2010

Karma Points

So glad that Larry Tinus told me a bicyclist was hit at the intersection near my house tonight. I ran down to discover the woman who had hit the bike yelling at the rider "Why were you in that intersection? It was my right of way, I should not have hit you". 
So I called 911 as I gave them location details the kid's face was brusing, he said he was losing feeling in his fingers and his neck was starting to throb. 
I can honestly say THANK YOU to the San Francisco Fire Department and Police Department for arriving so quickly. The ambulance was there in less than 10 minutes after the accident, police were there right after, asking questions and getting answers.  They were quick and efficient, just as they should be.
When another police car arrived the lady who hit the bike asked Larry and I if we saw what happened. I told her I lived right up the street and Larry told her he had heard the accident and looked down, she seemed to get very nervous at that answer and then walked away... I think I smell a liar.

At any rate, THANK YOU again to the San Francisco Fire/Police Department for their amazing ability to show up so quickly and to have this City College Student in the back of the ambulance, bike and all in 10 minutes flat. YOu guys totally rock, this city would be even more of a shit show without you.

And to Larry, thank you for helping me to boost my Karma by at least 10 points. I think that my CPR card might have expired, though I don't know where it is. Guess I know what class I am talking next semester. 

Thanks everyone for reading this, don't forget to pay it forward. If you see someone who needs help, just do it, sometimes the smallest amount of energy can mean the most to someone in need.

15 August 2010

Blast from the past

Recently I was asked by a good friend of mine, "Ashton, on a scale of one to ten how does your present relationship rank among your others" and while I cannot tell you completely how I answered that question, it did spark some thought that I would like to share.

How do you measure your level of love for someone?? As a matter of fact, if you CAN measure your level of love, what do you base it off of?

I sat pondering the question for a few moments, running through my past relationships before finally giving an answer. I went through the loves, the loss, the happy and the sad. It was a such a head rush going down memory lane like that.  Lost in my whirlwind of thoughts I came to the conclusion that as I move forward in my life, my love for the person I am with grows stronger. I love myself a little more each day, I love the person that I am with a little more each day and ultimately I love life a little more each day. The time that I have spend with my current love and past loves has always been the same.  Now the things that we have done and the experiences we have had will always be different, but the feeling of love, that remains the same for me.

I may love deeper and stronger, but I do not love any one person more than the next. I still love ALL (except 2) of my ex's and I hope to have them apart of my life for well... ever.

Now many of you might think, "Uh, I would never talk to my ex again" and while that is true for two of my ex's, I feel like every single one was brought into my life to teach me something and I did love each and every one of them with all of my heart (p.s. I have called less than 10 people my "boyfriend" in my whole life).

I also took in experiences, happiness and drama.. however I still can't put a level on how happy I was with someone. The drama is usually near the breakup, so it always seems crazy. The experiences are all so different and fun, it's impossible for me to truly say who I had more fun with.

I'm not sure, how would you answer this question?