16 September 2009

Lessons in Love.

His Horoscope: Today's Horoscope: September 16, 2009
This would be a good day to stay home and putter about the house, dear Aquarius. It is not a good day to travel or to begin any major projects. This could be just the excuse you have needed for taking a day off from your life! You need not answer the phone or fulfill any obligations whatsoever. Simply stay put, and tackle some minor household chores. If even that is too much, then curl up with a latte and a good book.

Mine: Today's Horoscope: September 16, 2009
Love is very much in the air today, dear Gemini, so be sure to take advantage of this auspicious environment! Invite your loved one over for an afternoon of play. You could play hide-and-seek under the bedcovers! If you do not have a playmate in your life at the moment, find other ways to fulfill the passion you are feeling. Spend the afternoon reading a trashy novel, or invite a friend over to watch a movie with your favorite hot celebrity. Take a break, and clear your system.


I realize that the statement, "You never know what you have until it's gone" is very much so true. I almost lost the love of my life last night and I hope to never get that close to that reality again.

I think that sometimes you get so comfortable in a relationship that you forget about the others persons feelings. You forget that they too are stressed out from work and family, you forget that they too have a life outside of you. Everything seems clouded when your in the beginning of a new relationship. You move to fast and spend way too much time together. However, I feel very blessed to get a second chance at this relationship.

I love my boyfriend with all of my heart and soul. I disregarded his needs because I felt he was being selfish. Instead of trying to work things out I complained about the things that he was doing or not doing and blamed him for everything. Though I still feel that we have a LOT of learning and growing left to do, I know we are in a better space.

I think that the secret to having a successful relationship is 5 things:

1. To always want to get dressed up for your significant other and to look good for them - I feel like too often relationships fail because one or both people are no longer attracted to each other. The mother/wife stops trying to look nice because she is always taking care of the kids and the girlfriend is so used to her boyfriend seeing her when she wakes up that she'd rather be comfy in front of him then dressed up. Bottom line, if your partner no longer finds you attractive, you wont have sex AND you will lose out on that excitement.

2. With that said, take time for yourself
- I have learned this the hard way. How can you love someone else if you can't love yourself. If your feeling fat, or ugly or unhealthy or whatever.. do not put that on your partner. Do not complain about those things unless your willing to make the change. If you feel good about YOUR body and your self.. they will feel great about your body as well. Think of the reasons they were attracted to you in the first place and stick with them.. keep it up. Not only looks but also your TIME. Take time away from your partner to do your own thing. Sounds funny but after you've spent a night out with your friends and heard about what's going on it their lives, you'll look forward to going back to yours. If you like to be social, go be social. If you're partner is NOT a social butterfly, then tell them you have made plans for such and such night and that you'll call them tomorrow. It sounds like your trying to take a step back.. but wondering where you are is going to want to make them want you more as well.

3. Don't cater to their every need -
I am truly bad about this one. I put my man before anything and everyone else in my life. If he's happy, I think that I am happy... *ding ding ding* wrong answer.. he can wash his own laundry while I go out with my friends or he can clean his apartment while I work on a sewing project. There is not need for me to clean his apartment when he can do it himself just fine. And at the end of the day, he'll be glad he did and I'll be glad that I am not scrubbing his floors.

4. Listen and be compassionate to their needs -
I have a co-worker right now who should take this advice. If you say you love someone, then you need to be able to let them go. If they come back you you... you know it's right and if they don't.. screw them you're better off without. If someone tells you that they need space, GIVE IT TO THEM.. if you truly love someone you will want to give them their space so that they can be happy and know that they have the freedom and trust with you. Be compassionate to their needs, if they need your attention for a small amount of time, ask what they need and what they would like you to do; then follow their directions. For girls, most want to be loved and to know that their boyfriend is their for them and will fight for them if they decided to leave. Men need to know that if they want to go and hang out with their friends, the girls will let them and not be blowing up their phone every hour on the hour. Girls, men also need sex... and lots of it. If your not the sexual type, find out what makes turns you on and have your man do it. Don't be afraid to ask, because if it turns you on, he'll want to do it over and over and over again.

5. Have faith and don't worry so much - Title says it all... nuff said.

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