A new way of doing things.

Sometime last week a good friend of mine told me that I should write a book. When I told him that seemed silly, who would read my book and he told me, "We will, your friends will. You've had a crazy life and we all have be a part of it at some point. We want to read our part and we want to read the parts of others. We want to know more about this crazy cool girl that we know." Now granted that is NOT what he said word for word... that's what I got out of it.

With this I really started thinking about what I would write about. What about my life would people want to read? What stories would I tell? Would I create chapters? How would I start my "life's story" when I am not even half way into it? This left me with even more unanswered questions.

So my solution was to ask the people in my life, "If I were to write a book, what part would you want to hear about?" Then I decided to blog about it, keep a log. This way people get to be a part of the book in more ways than one. This way I can also put in the conversations that get started as a result to sharing my life.

Needless to say I will answer one or two questions a night until you stop asking me to tell you stories.

So let's get started. Question number one coming in from Sean (San Francisco):

Sean: I'd like you to write about what has been important to you and what your dreams are, then I would want read the whole book.

Me: What specifically?

Sean: Goals should be specific.

I would love to know what your dreams are... and if you have the pages, tell me why they are important to you.

If you really want to explain things, tell me what happened in your past that makes you the awesome girl I know.

Answer: It would be impossible to tell you all of my goals and dreams because I make more every single day. I do not live my life without making bigger and better goals for my self each day. For example, you inspiring me to write a book, which has let to this idea of blogging which has led me to having people ask me questions about my life on a daily basis. See it’s just a creation on top of a creation.

My current goals/dreams for this year are as follows:

- By June 1st having moved out of Pacifica
- By September 1st having saved up enough money to pay for a deposit and living on my own in SF.
- By July 23rd having sold my car
- Before the end of this year leaving the country for the first time
- Celebrate my 22 birthday in style and passion
- Make each day better then the last
- Love myself for the great things I do
- Don’t sweat the small stuff
- Learn how to deal with people better.
- Finish writing this book…. Figure out what to do with it.

That’s just the ones off the top of my head for this year….


Ok it’s 10:48 and I need sleep.. Will finish this thought tomorrow.

Tis' the season..

For most people the Christmas season is all about stress.

Stress about buying gifts
Stress about having money to buy those gifts
Stress about where to eat
Stress about who to eat with
Stress about what eat
Stress about who is giving you a gift
Stress about who you are giving gifts to..

and of course much much more. As stress about Christmas is different for everyone.

I am glad to say that the stress I have been through this year was my choice. I did not have to stress about getting gifts for people because I just made people food. I did not have to stress about money because I had my bonus check and that was my saving grace. I eat with the same people every year and for the most part we eat the same things every year. I give the gift of food to anyone who I see either before, during or after the holiday season.

I was a little bummed to not have that "significant" other to have around for the holidays, BUT on the lighter note I am getting to see past lovers, friends, family and this year i have met quite a few new people. This holiday season has been the best ever and I don't remember the last time I felt this happy about life.

I have so many people who I am going to get to see before the end of this year and that fills me with joy.

At any rate, I am happier this year and then I have been in a long while. but I guess this about wraps it up for the moment..


To you and yours, happy holidays

It's been awhile..

Wow, it's been a while since I actually looked at this blogging website. I signed up for this a very long time ago; so long ago in fact that I forgot I had it.

Currently I find myself falling asleep in my bed every night wishing I had a place to write my thoughts down. A place to call my own and a place to get my inner most thoughts out. More often then not I do NOT know what is going through my head or how I am feeling until i put it on paper. So here I am...... putting it on paper (so to speak)

I do not know what I will write. I do not know who will read this. I do not know if I will even tel the truth to myself. All I know is that I have thoughts that need to be released..... but until then... I'm out.

The Other Boleyn Girl

Note: If you haven't seen the movie.. dont read this.. I don't want to ruin it for you!

If one lie can ruin a country... even a white lie can destroy a relationship.

I spent the first few hours of my 21st birthday watching "The Other Boleyn Girl" it was truly amazing and riveting. While watching this movie I was so very intrigued by the way Natalie Portman carried herself. She is an amazing actress and very convincing in her roles. I could really feel her emotion of being scared for losing her 2nd child and her pain in being queen, not satisfiying her king. I can only imagine how painful it was back during those times. To be so afraid of her husband (the king) that she felt the need to bare child with her brother (only to have both parties back out) was amazing to me. Sadly enough having her brother killed for her fears seemed far more extreme then she had ever planned.

If this had been a real documentary on actual events then I would be in awe of woman who came from something much smaller grew to take over a mans heart and in turn "changed the face of England forever" However ONLY through her manipulation, jealousy, anger and lust was she able to become the Queen. It wasn't because she was the right fit or that she had the purest of hearts. She knew what she had to do to get what she wanted.... and that she did. Granted what she wanted turned out to be the very life she had before the lies and manipulation.

I know that I am supposed to be feeling mad at Natalie Portmen for being the manipulative bitch that she was in the movie. I can't though, I just simply can't. I love her character and I love that she is so fucking sneaky. Fucking brilliant! Her mind is vast in deception and I wouldn't exactly say that I admire that, but she turns it into an art form. It is truly amazing that one woman can take over that much power over years.

OK.. its 4:27a... I am officially 21.. and I am OFFICIALLY tired... night night